Showing posts with label me Grey Matter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me Grey Matter. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Past
I was a fool to think my past would not catch up with me. It did, and it really tore me up cause I've disappointed her so deeply. I have absolutely nothing to offer her to sooth her pain. I did not start it, but I wanted it. It really didn't matter anyway cause its done, and there's only one idiot to blame. How I wish I could go back and tell that idiot the consequences of what he was about to do. How I wish I could tell that jerk not to be so desperate. How I wish I'd listened. Now I'm about to loose everything, for nothing. May the final judgement be passed, for I am GUILTY.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
=D
If this is a dream, I don't wanna wake up cause this is how I'm feeling now.
I just had the sweetest kiss.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeEEEEEeeeEEEE~~~!!!!!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
love you, *hugs* =)
I finally got this message from her that I've been dying to see.
" love you, *hugs* =) "
When I woke up, I quickly look at my phone again only to discover I've been dreaming.
" love you, *hugs* =) "
When I woke up, I quickly look at my phone again only to discover I've been dreaming.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
DILEMMA
Would it be selfish to tell a girl you've fallen in love with her, even though there's no chance of being together? Why? cause she'll be leaving this place for good after she completes her task. Most saddening thing is, she don't feel the same about me.
I know there's the argument that I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't tell her, but wouldn't that just make things ackward between us? Considering the little time I have left to see her. Its such a struggle I have to deal with every single day to not let her know how I feel. Perhaps for her sake, I should keep it to myself. Or for my sake, I could just blurt it out and pray my heart survives the crash.
I know there's the argument that I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't tell her, but wouldn't that just make things ackward between us? Considering the little time I have left to see her. Its such a struggle I have to deal with every single day to not let her know how I feel. Perhaps for her sake, I should keep it to myself. Or for my sake, I could just blurt it out and pray my heart survives the crash.
"Is *** the sole reason you have to go back ***?" I asked.
"Haha.. not really.. there're many other reasons...... hmmm...i'm gonna miss everything here.........=(" she replied.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Thank You
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life...
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life...
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Sick
I'm sick... very sick.... my only solace is when I'm adrift into slumber. I can't work, I can't concentrate, I can't watch a movie, I can't travel, I can't eat, I can't have a conversation, I can't workout, I can't play my guitar, I can't sleep, I can't wake, I can't shower, I can't read, I can't drive, I can't THINK without thinking of her. Some call it love sick, or maybe I just need help.
Help.....
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Lost
He prayed he would see her there
But he knows how selfish his prayer was
When he arrives, he couldn't believe she is there
He lost his breath and his heart pounded
He lost his breath and his heart pounded
He didn’t know what to do
So he walked past her
But she didn’t see him
She didn’t notice him
Monday, February 28, 2011
The long drive home
I find my head resting on the wheel
Appreciating the quietness from within
Measuring the heaviness of my heart
In the dark, isolated from the world
Which is but a handle away
Sunday, February 27, 2011
You're not suppose to know
My heart aches for you but you do not know
My heart leaps every time my gaze is upon you
But I’m not allowed to show it
You’re not suppose to know
The days are quickly fading
I only have weeks left
But I’m not allowed to show it
You’re not suppose to know
Why is life so unfair
Why weren’t you born sooner
Why did you steal my heart so recklessly
Why do you have to leave
You were the dream I was looking for
Your perfect laugh, your perfect smile
But I’m not allowed to show it
You’re not suppose to know
The more I know you
The more my heart beats for you
But I’m not allowed to show it
You’re not suppose to know
Why is life so unfair
Why weren’t you born sooner
Why did you steal my heart so recklessly
Why do you have to leave
Girl don’t do this to me
Please don’t leave me
Heart, stop tormenting me
Stop abusing me
I can only take so much
Before I die
Why is life so unfair
Why weren’t you born sooner
Why did you steal my heart so recklessly
Why do you have to leave
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
10 Amazing Brain Facts You Should Know
1. The human brain has about 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion neurons. From the age of 35 years, about 7,000 neurons are lost daily.
2. During early pregnancy, the neurons in the foetus can multiply at a rate of 250,000 neurons per minute.
3. The brain is composed of 75% to 80% water. Dehydration can affect proper functioning of brain.
4. The brain consists of 60% white matter and 40% grey matter. White is the supporting matter and grey is the thinking matter of the brain. If the brain is a computer, the grey matter would be the computer itself and the white matter is its cables.
5. Adult brain weighs about 3 pounds or 1,300g to 1,400g. This is about 2% of the body weight if you weigh 150 pounds or 70kg. Sperm whale’s brain weights 7,800g.
6. Although the brain only accounts for 2 percent of our body weight, it consumes 20% oxygen that we breathe and roughly 20 percent of our daily calories
7. 15% to 20% of all blood pumped out of the heart goes directly to the brain
8. All the thinking in the brain is about electricity and chemicals. The brain is more active and thinks more at night than during the day.
9. The brain itself is incapable of feeling pain. Once the skill is opened it is possible to operate on the brain with the patient awake.
10. You can’t feel your own tickle either. The brain is smart enough to neutralize the sensation. The cerebellum sends a signal to the rest of the brain of your intentions and as a result the sensation is ignored.
2. During early pregnancy, the neurons in the foetus can multiply at a rate of 250,000 neurons per minute.
3. The brain is composed of 75% to 80% water. Dehydration can affect proper functioning of brain.
4. The brain consists of 60% white matter and 40% grey matter. White is the supporting matter and grey is the thinking matter of the brain. If the brain is a computer, the grey matter would be the computer itself and the white matter is its cables.
5. Adult brain weighs about 3 pounds or 1,300g to 1,400g. This is about 2% of the body weight if you weigh 150 pounds or 70kg. Sperm whale’s brain weights 7,800g.
6. Although the brain only accounts for 2 percent of our body weight, it consumes 20% oxygen that we breathe and roughly 20 percent of our daily calories
7. 15% to 20% of all blood pumped out of the heart goes directly to the brain
8. All the thinking in the brain is about electricity and chemicals. The brain is more active and thinks more at night than during the day.
9. The brain itself is incapable of feeling pain. Once the skill is opened it is possible to operate on the brain with the patient awake.
10. You can’t feel your own tickle either. The brain is smart enough to neutralize the sensation. The cerebellum sends a signal to the rest of the brain of your intentions and as a result the sensation is ignored.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, September 24, 2010
Alone
When I was 16, I asked a classmate back in school about Christianity. He said he only goes to Church for Christmas. We talked about heaven and hell amongst other things. I don't remember the rest of the conversation except that he seem excited going to hell. Thats where most of his friends will be he explained. That's where the party is.
"One of my new housemates, Stacy, wants to write a story about an astronaut. In his story the astronaut is wearing a suit that keeps him alive by recycling his fluids. In the story the astronaut is working on a space station when an accident takes place, and he is cast into space to orbit the earth, to spend the rest of his life circling the globe. Stacy says this story is how he imagines hell, a place where a person is completely alone, without others and without God.
After Stacy told me about his story, I kept seeing it in my mind. I thought about it before I went to sleep at night. I imagined myself looking out my little bubble helmet at blue earth, reaching toward it, closing it between my puffy white space-suit fingers, wondering if my friends were still there. In my imagination I would call to them, yell for them, but the sound would only come back loud within my helmet. Through the years my hair would grow long in my helmet and gather around my forehead and fall across my eyes. Because of my helmet I would not be able to touch my face with my hands to move my hair out of my eyes, so my view of earth, slowly, over the first two years, would dim to only a thin light through a curtain of thatch and beard.
I would lay there in bed thinking about Stacy's story, putting myself out there in the black. And there came a time, in space, when I could not tell whether I was awake or asleep. All my thoughts mingled together because I had no people to remind me what was real and what was not real. I would punch myself in the side to feel pain, and this way I could be relatively sure I was not dreaming. Within ten years I was beginning to breathe heavy through my hair and my beard as they were pressing tough against my face and had begun to curl into my mouth and up my nose. In space, I forgot that I was human. I did not know whether I was a ghost or an apparition or a demon thing.
After I thought about Stacy's story, I lay there in bed and wanted to be touched, wanted to be talked to. I had the terrifying thought that something like that might happen to me. I thought it was just a terrible story, a painful and ugly story. Stacy had delivered as accurate a description of a hell as could be calculated. And what is sad, what is very sad, is that we are proud people, and because we have sensitive egos and so many of us live our lives in front of our televisions, not having to deal with real people who might hurt us or offend us, we float along on our couches like astronauts moving aimlessly through the Milky Way, hardly interacting with other human beings at all. "
Blue Like Jazz, 171" — Donald Miller
My friends. Hell is no party, its eternal seperation. This scares me. What if I'm wrong. What if there's nothing after death. What if everything Jesus said is nonsense? We both lose.
What if Jesus is who He said he is? I win, you still lose.
"One of my new housemates, Stacy, wants to write a story about an astronaut. In his story the astronaut is wearing a suit that keeps him alive by recycling his fluids. In the story the astronaut is working on a space station when an accident takes place, and he is cast into space to orbit the earth, to spend the rest of his life circling the globe. Stacy says this story is how he imagines hell, a place where a person is completely alone, without others and without God.
After Stacy told me about his story, I kept seeing it in my mind. I thought about it before I went to sleep at night. I imagined myself looking out my little bubble helmet at blue earth, reaching toward it, closing it between my puffy white space-suit fingers, wondering if my friends were still there. In my imagination I would call to them, yell for them, but the sound would only come back loud within my helmet. Through the years my hair would grow long in my helmet and gather around my forehead and fall across my eyes. Because of my helmet I would not be able to touch my face with my hands to move my hair out of my eyes, so my view of earth, slowly, over the first two years, would dim to only a thin light through a curtain of thatch and beard.
I would lay there in bed thinking about Stacy's story, putting myself out there in the black. And there came a time, in space, when I could not tell whether I was awake or asleep. All my thoughts mingled together because I had no people to remind me what was real and what was not real. I would punch myself in the side to feel pain, and this way I could be relatively sure I was not dreaming. Within ten years I was beginning to breathe heavy through my hair and my beard as they were pressing tough against my face and had begun to curl into my mouth and up my nose. In space, I forgot that I was human. I did not know whether I was a ghost or an apparition or a demon thing.
After I thought about Stacy's story, I lay there in bed and wanted to be touched, wanted to be talked to. I had the terrifying thought that something like that might happen to me. I thought it was just a terrible story, a painful and ugly story. Stacy had delivered as accurate a description of a hell as could be calculated. And what is sad, what is very sad, is that we are proud people, and because we have sensitive egos and so many of us live our lives in front of our televisions, not having to deal with real people who might hurt us or offend us, we float along on our couches like astronauts moving aimlessly through the Milky Way, hardly interacting with other human beings at all. "
Blue Like Jazz, 171" — Donald Miller
My friends. Hell is no party, its eternal seperation. This scares me. What if I'm wrong. What if there's nothing after death. What if everything Jesus said is nonsense? We both lose.
What if Jesus is who He said he is? I win, you still lose.
Blue Like Jazz
"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."
— Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality)
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."
— Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
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