Past

I was a fool to think my past would not catch up with me. It did, and it really tore me up cause I've disappointed her so deeply. I have absolutely nothing to offer her to sooth her pain. I did not start it, but I wanted it. It really didn't matter anyway cause its done, and there's only one idiot to blame. How I wish I could go back and tell that idiot the consequences of what he was about to do. How I wish I could tell that jerk not to be so desperate. How I wish I'd listened. Now I'm about to loose everything, for nothing. May the final judgement be passed, for I am GUILTY.

Hypocrites

Why don’t people mean what they say? I’ve heard many statements, promises and proclamation over the years, mainly from fellow Christians. Through thick and thin so they say. When the going gets tough, or the situation isn’t as desirable, they act as if those words were never spoken in the first place.

It makes me angry at first, then sadness. Does that constitute broken promises? Is it even a promise to begin with? Can I hold to account what a person said even if they didn’t say ‘I promise that….’ ? Maybe there’s an expiry date to what we say. Whenever someone promises something, don’t expect it to be true after... say… 1 year? People change. Priorities change. Past commitments will just have to make way.

There are hypocrites and there are those who genuinely struggle to keep to their words. Some succeed, some fail. Some stop talking. Disappointment is an ugly thing. It kills trust. It kills fellowships. It kills friendships. It kills intimacy. Doesn’t matter if another draws the sword or you on yourself. The fruit is all the same. When I look into the mirror, I found the biggest hypocrite in my life.

‘You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye’ Matthew 7:5 (NIV)